Someone gets stuck in a self-centred way of seeing. Not individual, but individualistic. He gets stuck in this self-centred way of seeing, of living. That's where one's why questions become very multiplied. Why is this happening to me? Why now? Why this way? Why this? And all these why questions... Actually we don't know the answer. Why am I suffering like this? Why am I not talented in this? Why couldn't I find a job for 3 years? Why can't I find the one? Why am I so unlucky? Why did I get fired? Why don't they give me a raise? With so many why questions, after a point, it is realistic not to find an answer. When we don't find an answer, it starts to become associated with unpleasant emotional states after a while. At such times we go to some kind of lecture where I listen to professionals and I expect someone to tell me why, to give me answers to my questions, because they are professionals and should know the answers. So I have been thinking and grinding my brains out, somebody tell me, really. It's almost summer, and I'm going into summer not knowing why I had to suffer, why my father died young?
But what happens at a time like this? The reason why we can't find answers to these tormenting questions is because I would like to do the trick, we would like to be clever, so that we remain in the self-centred system we are in, we don't have to look at it, we don't have to change anything, and within this system we are in, someone will tell us what to do. And then all of a sudden this whole system should be good.
And that is not realistic. Because I've been sick for a long time, and I've been having these why questions and negative emotional states that have been building up because I've been locked into a woundedness or self-centered system. And I would like to add to this that this is why we don't get anywhere after a certain point with advice, smart books, practices, solutions, because we want to use them to trick everything into staying the same, but everything should be good.
When Jesus came, he did not bring answers, he did not bring solutions. Imagine, before Easter, Jesus calls his twelve disciples together and says: sit down, I am dictating. Actually, life has six really big questions: why is death, write, I say, why is sickness, now comes the answer, write, be very careful, have at least 12 copies. Because 2 or 3 disappear, one is eaten by the mouse, but at least 6 remain. Well, that would be absurd, wouldn't it? It's no coincidence that Jesus didn't bring answers. He doesn't give answers. What happens? I'm just pointing out what you may know a lot, but it feels so good to me to say this: there are no answers to life's big questions in words, because in my own self-centered system I'm trying to make sure nothing changes, but I'm totally fine, but you can see that's impossible.
So what is the answer? In actions and relationships. Actions and relationships. Actions and relationships.And what will that mean? It means that Jesus does not give answers, but changes: he dies and rises again. This is, in reality and symbolically, the most beautiful expression of what actually happens when we need to evolve? That as long as we want answers, solutions, practices, we are in fact resisting the change that, if it comes, we will be well. It is not the answer that makes me well, it is the change that makes me well. After a certain point, we don't need any answers, if only because we don't have any. And also because the answer would remain in this very system. It's no accident that there is no answer, there is no answer because we have outgrown a system. We've outgrown a woundedness-centred system, a self-deceptive system, a self-centred system, a life-lie system, a blame-others system, and all my questions are, how can I be well? So I don't need answers, I need change.
